Thursday, January 29, 2009

Rational and Emotional

Rational versus emotional. The story of my life. I struggle with this. I struggle with this a lot more than I am willing to admit. I read stuff I wrote a while ago, years ago, a lifetime ago. Most of the time, it's pretty logical and linear. But then a few times, I get rogue thoughts based on emotionalism. My E.Q. would probably increase if I knew that is what I'm dealing with and I can say, okay, this is emotional, no basis. But is that for real?

Is everything truly just logic? I don't know. Sometimes, I get a gut instinct based not on facts, but can be just as true as if it were. Red flags go up and I am not sure what it is that I'm perceiving, but it is a warning to me. It was once described as "women's intuition", but I don't hear much about that anymore. It is difficult to make a decision or not make a decision based on something I can't see or feel--no concrete evidence. It's even worse when one has to communicate an intuitive feeling to a husband who wants facts and lives by them, like most men.

Times are unpredictable, things are in flux right now. That is a fact. Dennis got out of the postal service just in time, starting a job in another field just a few weeks ago. He already got a raise. I'm thankful how God worked this out. But I'm aware that others around me, close to me, are having a real difficult time. Where to go from here, that might involve some deep thought and maybe a little intuition.

I was at the library this afternoon, not to look for novels as usual, but to try to find information to help me prepare for an uncertain future. I realized that most books, even as recent as 2008, are obsolete in this economy. The direction I take might depend not on textbook learning, but on the basis of observation and experience. I have lived in this community for over six years and what do I truly know about it? What is the key to making a living around here when the usual sources dry up? There is a lot I can't forecast, but there are some things I can.

My company is fighting for its life right now, that is front page news. I got a compliment from a customer today as I was using a little friendly persuasion to try something to eat along with her coffee. She said I was "really good at this", and my response was "I better be!" and we both laughed it off. A few minutes later a guy asked if our store was closing, I said, "no, want to buy a few pounds of coffee?". He and I grinned. It's time to be tenacious. Relentless. Fearless. Prayerful. Hopeful. Flexible.

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