Saturday, November 07, 2009

Dylan in Detroit...

last night and I didn't go.

Dennis was out of town and I had to be at work relatively early this morning. No reviews on Boblinks yet, but the set list is posted. There is one that I would have loved to hear live "The Man in Me" which he doesn't play often--and it was from his "New Morning" album that could be best described as a bit uneven and probably experimental. I have the CD and it isn't one I choose to listen to very often. But I like "The Man in Me" which was a song that the Coen brothers used in their quirkily weird film "The Big Lebowski", picked by T-Bone Burnett who was in charge of the music.

I'm listening to it now on, and I am now really wishing that I had gone. But it wouldn't have been the same without Dennis, who's starting to appreciate Dylan's music (he downloads it onto his ipod shuffle that I gave him a few Christmases ago).


The man in me will do nearly any task,
And as for compensation, there's little he would ask.
Take a woman like you
To get through to the man in me.

Storm clouds are raging all around my door,
I think to myself I might not take it any more.
Take a woman like your kind
To find the man in me.

But, oh, what a wonderful feeling
Just to know that you are near,
Sets my a heart a-reeling
From my toes up to my ears.

The man in me will hide sometimes to keep from bein' seen,
But that's just because he doesn't want to turn into some machine.
Took a woman like you
To get through to the man in me.

And I have a feeling that it would've sounded like this:

Yes, it doesn't sound like "New Morning", but I like fact that Dylan is creative. Nothing is set in stone, not even the lyrics. And so it sounds fresh, making us all wonder who is the lady he's singing about.
Although Dennis wasn't able to go and I had to work the next day, I still could have gone. However, I had already decided not to go anyway. I nearly went, and had choice seats picked out on Ticketmaster but gave them up--temptation was pretty strong. I was concerned about turning Bob Dylan into an idol in my heart, where he would become larger in my heart than God. He's a person, imperfect and weak. Not worthy of devotion and worship. But I would like to think that his music points my heart and soul in the right direction, towards Him who lived and died for me, and Whom I need desparately.

Save the Date

Empty Bowls
A fundraiser for hunger relief
6:00 – 8:00 pm, November 13, 2009
At University Reformed Church
4930 South Hagadorn, East Lansing
Suggested donations:$5 for meal only
Free meal for children 10 and under, or those experiencing financial hardship
$15 for each bowl
Individuals and families are encouraged to attend.
Come anytime between 6:00 – 8:00 for as long or as short as your schedule allows!
Brief presentation at 7:00.
Bowls created and donated by artists and friends of Reach Studio Art Center

I will be bringing Moosewood's Gentle Lentil Soup to share, made with petite french green lentils, and aromatic vegtables in a savory red wine and herb broth. Other soups will be available as well to choose from.

Tuesday, November 03, 2009


One of the many things that have assured me that the Bible is true is the story of Hannah in First Samuel. Hannah is an infertile woman living in an ancient society that places feminine worth in those who produce children. The description of her inconsolable depression is pretty accurate, I get Hannah. She is my kindred spirit.

I've changed a lot over the years, and infertility has a lot to do with it. When I asked God to get me married, I was ready for it and the whole raising a family package. I spent most of my late 20's and early 30's bracing myself for an onslaught of offspring that never came. My late 30's consisted of fertility treatments and working towards a plan for adoption.

My body and our financial situation weren't co-operating with our goals and desires. As we got older, I got more inward with my disillusionment and pretty much packed away my hopes for a family. How does one cope when things don't go the way she wants them to?

Hannah laid her heart at the feet of God with a remarkable prayer. She became peaceful and joyful before she became pregnant, which pretty much means she was liberated from her own desires to be validated as a woman--God validated her by listening to her, and her response was a trusting calmness. If she did not have a baby, fine. If she did, the baby was not hers, but God's. The ball was in God's court.

She came to a point where children were not the objective, but God's glory was. She could not fill her empty life or empty womb, but God filled her empty heart. She was not like Rachel who screamed "Give me children or else I'll die!" with a hunger that was not placated with her sons nor with family power plays against Leah's children.

No. Hannah was fulfilled and a fulfilled woman loves in a way that doesn't attempt to wring self worth out of others, things, sacrifices and everything that has to go her way. She didn't care about Penninah's cruelty or her society's obsession with family. But she knew that she was cared for by One who controlled all things, whether her desire was realized or not.

I'm glad that God not only gave her one child--whom she dedicated to be raised in His temple--but many afterward. She gave God what she desired most, because her desires were not about herself anymore but about honoring Him. And He honored her in return. It didn't have to be more children, it could have been anything that spoke to her of His love for her. She had Him, and He was worth more to her than a hundred children.

Infertility is frustrating, because despite all the medical technology out there, the results of treatments are unpredictable. No woman is the same. Reproduction is a delicate and complicated process that we take for granted because there's a ton of people on this planet and pregnant ladies everywhere. When everything goes right, it actually is quite a miracle. And most doctors seem pretty much like they are guessing when it comes to treating infertility which works out for a blessed few who stick it out through a lot of ups and downs.

Right now, Dennis and I are experiencing a lot of the instability that is in today's economy. We are wondering what the next step for us will be. There is a lot we can do, though, that others our age cannot. So, if you are thinking that I have sunk into passive resignation, think again. I'm on the brink of a very exhilerating high dive of faith.

Monday, November 02, 2009

A Walk in Beck Park

Fall is my favorite time of year. And I don't take advantage of it enough. Ginger was ready, though, to take hold of some walkable weather before the snow hits. She blended in with the woods really well. Camouflage for rabbit hunting.

We ran into Rayleen and her two dogs, a gentle bull mastiff aptly named "Bruno" and another lively Golden Retriever, "Lily" who played with Ginger as though they knew her all their lives.

Beauty below my feet.

Ginger is well camouflaged.

Beauty all around me.

Ginger looking out for rabbit.

A walk, a walk, a walk, a walk.....!!!!