I did not expect a fantasy world when I hit my mid-life years, not too long ago, but I did anticipate a different one. All the things that were effortless in my youth, requiring no thought or discipline are now work. This includes rolling out of bed. When I was young, I just got out of bed. These days, I have a method of swinging my legs out first and let gravity help me up. When I was young, I just slept. I don't just sleep anymore. I have a routine, and phases throughout my evening to prepare me for sleep. Every darn thing I used to take for granted now takes planning.
I was lucky as a twenty or thirty something, but I wasted a lot of time analyzing things I thought were obstacles to my happiness. It took a few decades to realize that those weren't problems. Despite it all, I did not think about taking care of my health as much as I should have. Nowadays, all I think about is taking care of myself and Hubby. As we creep up on our senior citizen years, I realize now that there are real problems. Starting with health, finances, energy and having something meaningful to do. Some things we can control, but others we won't be able to. We are slowly transitioning into another entirely different realm. I am hoping that it is Hobbiton, not Mordor.
God speaks about old age in Scripture. I've seen the verses, but have not taken the time to really think about them and see how they apply to my current stage of life. I think that it is time now.
But it isn't time to hang back . I don't know what is in the future yet God has brought me through a lot already. I know He'll help me continue on. It's been awhile since I've been truly afraid, except when I think about how fast time has passed. I guess that is why I mostly dwell in the present in my thoughts instead of the past or the future. It's not that I am shallow, because I think about a lot of things in depth, but only about things in the immediate time to come or things just a few days ago. It's a lot safer. But that kind of thinking won't help me now.
And it isn't a time to think I know it all. I know a lot, but there is more to learn. I am still curious, I still have questions, and I still read a lot. Just today, I learned how to boil an egg perfectly. I've been doing it wrong for years.
It is also a good time to reflect more about the next life rather than this one. On this subject, I have more questions than answers. But Scripture is clear about what I really need to know. I am free in Christ because He redeemed and purchased me, and because of Him paying my debt for my sin out of the generosity of the Father's heart, I have confidence about eternal life with Him. And I look forward to that future, which is certain because of His love and mercy. I am redeemed, and that is what will get me through the rest of time I have in this world.
It won't be easy, and I'm sure that there will be suffering. I need the Gospel, it will be the only comfort available.